It's A . . .

In just a few days Jeff and I will have the great pleasure of being able to stop calling our baby “it” and start referring to this beautiful blessing as either our son or our daughter. We are so thrilled. We are often asked, “What do you prefer?” It’s an easy answer, we have no preference at all. Since we plan on having more than just this one babe, we figure we’ll be blessed with each and that Heavenly Father knows us so intimately that he has a beautiful plan for our family. And while there is no preference, I have found myself imagining the possibilities of both.

My brother, Mark, always said that he believed every little girl should have an older brother. I’ll have to admit, this philosophy has stuck with me throughout my life.

Growing up being the only girl in a family with older brothers, I found myself very blessed with not one, but three live-in bodyguards. While I do consider this an incredible gift, at times it was a tad overwhelming! Like when any and every guy I dated was deemed “a loser.” Or when Mark and I were in High school together and he’d see me talking to a guy:  He would come up to us, place his arm around my shoulder, stand tall as if to flaunt his 6’4” towering stature, and (insert sarcasm here) politely ask, “So, who is this?” It was obvious to me and I am sure to the friend I was talking with that in reality, Mark was thinking, “So, who is this schmuck and what does he want with you, my precious LITTLE sister?”

I’ll have to admit, though, I am very pleased that my brothers held such high standards for me. Infact, when Jeff and I were close to our wedding date, my brothers all found themselves in agreement when one stated, “Isn’t it amazing that Jeff is the first and only guy that Cara has dated that we all like?” I guess they always knew what they were doing and I must give them credit for their keen sense of character analysis!

So, let me tell you a little bit about each brother so you can fully understand why Mark’s idea about girls having older brothers has nestled deep in my heart:

• Ryan: Ryan, who is one of San Bernardino’s Police Department’s finest and also 6’4”, is one of the most tender men I have ever known. Out of the 6 of us, he is the best at making sure family traditions are not only followed through, but followed through with exactness, fun, laughter and love. Ryan has an incredible way of making life special. When my mom and I were out shopping for my wedding dress, we noticed we each had multiple missed calls from Ryan. Concerned, we called him back immediately to find out that he was desperately trying to reach us before I tried on dresses. He wanted to tell me to get whatever dress I fell in love with, no matter the cost!  He told me that he would work overtime to make sure I was able to buy the perfect dress. This is one of many similar stories. Yes, Ryan has a way of making life beautiful and special—Ryan IS beautiful and special.

• Peter: I’ve always thought myself to be very similar to Pete—I aspire to learn from his influence at least.  Peter is a phenomenal man. Anyone who has known him, even if just for a brief moment, can attest. He is thoughtful, inspirational and constantly seeking knowledge of any kind. He is hard working and determined. Peter is open and honest.  He has always been one to give me sound advice in an earnest desire to help me achieve my goals in life. It is safe to say that Peter leaves a mark wherever he goes.

• Mark: A friend of mine once said, “Mark is a big brother in the truest sense. I think if you were to look up ‘big brother’ in the dictionary, it would simply say: Mark Wicks.” Mark has always been my biggest protector, my number one fan, my best friend.  He is soft and sensitive, willing and eager to do any and all things for his family—no matter the cost! We have a family video of a time when I was around 1-year-old:  My parents were giving me medicine—not an easy task. I hated this process and was screaming quite intensely. Mark hovered over the scene, ready to help at a moment’s notice. My parents asked him to get me some water. He jumped at the request and ran down the hall with great speed to the sink saying the whole way, “It’s okay, Ca-wa, Ca-wa, Ca-wa. I’m coming Ca-wa, Ca-wa, Ca-wa.” And so he did, he came to my rescue—and not just on this one occasion. Mark is there for me, for anyone who crosses that line in his heart (even those he barely knows), always and fiercely. Yep, Mark is my Bawky (Marky), always and forever.

These three men have helped shape me into the woman I am and their influence, love and guidance will continue to help shape me into the woman I want to become.

My dad has mentored three incredible, loving, strong and sensitive men. Through the man my dad is and the example he has shared, my brothers have been the best brothers a little sister could have. Because I have married a man who will be as wonderful a father as my dad has been, 50% of me hopes we have a boy first—a son whom we can teach to take care of his younger siblings the way my brothers have me.

Now what about the other 50%? What about the possibility of having a girl first? Yes, this dream takes over my thoughts and imagination just as frequently as having our oldest be a boy. Since I was the only girl of 3 older brothers, I was lucky enough to not have to share my mom with any other girl. This may possibly be the biggest blessing in my life. For those of you who are daughters, you know there is nothing quite like the bond between a mother and daughter.

My mom is my best friend. She represents everything I hope to become as a mother. She is my rock. I often think of my life thus far and many of my fondest memories—best times—have been spent with my mom. We laugh together in a way that is contagious. I can imagine that anyone lucky enough to experience secondhand the happiness and fun we share when we are together is filled with pure and utter joy just by witnessing a true and real love. We talk about EVERYTHING. We can and do get lost in conversations for hours on end. We talk about life, dreams, fears, the Gospel . . . Everything. We share a connection so deep, so special, so unique—a connection only shared by a mother and daughter—that it is impossible to replicate with anyone else. I want to experience this with my daughter. And a part of me doesn’t want to wait to start this journey! A part of me wants a daughter now so this bond can begin to form and develop.

So, can you see why there is truly no preference? Or at least why both possibilities hold equal weight?

Life is beautiful—the most remarkable gift we are given. Jeff and I are beyond blessed. Everything we have ever wanted—ever dreamt about—continues to come true everyday. We are excited to hear the life-changing words on Tuesday, “You have a Son,” or “You have a daughter.” May our journey continue . . .